Overcoming Your Fear
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Articles How are you handling the emotion of fear or is handling you? Some people have specific fears while others have the fear in all aspects of their life. It’s like one day they decided that the world is a bad and scary place. There are healthy fears and there are fears which render some people dysfunctional. A phobia is an intense irrational fear which results in the person unable to function normally. Fortunately most fears are not so bad, and yet fear can be a strong emotion that controls one’s life - sometimes not even consciously. People place boundaries in their life to keep them safe and they become so accustomed to living in these boundaries that they don’t even realise what is outside of them. Einstein said that we are ‘boxed in by the boundaries of our thinking’ - yes these boundaries are imagined. Last year I was at the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland where once upon a time I would have felt some fear at being so high. Fortunately there were protective fences in places to keep us well back from the edge. I felt safe but it got me thinking about the boundaries we place in our lives, without even realising it. All in order to keep ourselves safe. Some people would not even be able to stand up on the cliffs because of their fear, even though there is no danger of falling. Such a fear is paralysing and whether it’s a fear of heights, public speaking, open or closed spaces - it controls our life and decisions. What about the fears that are not so obvious and yet affect your life? Fear of success or fear of failure can stop one from stepping up and taking the actions required in business or career. Fear of rejection can stop one from asking a question, cold calling or even dating. Fear of public speaking can stop one from talking to groups, large or small, even though it means greater leverage of time and money. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like a fear until you stop and think “why didn’t you ask for the sale?” “why didn’t you say yes to the opportunity?” and so on. Here are some ways people handle their fear. 1. Do nothing. These people can feel stuck, paralysed by their fear. They build protective barriers around them and live life in a small box so as not to get hurt. 2. Feel the fear and do it anyway - some people feel the fear and go ahead and jump out a plane anyway. Some even enjoy it. They don’t necessarily remove the fear, but they feel some sense of satisfaction in overcoming it for a moment. 3. Let go of the dysfunctional fear - this is best done with a coach or consultant who can help you recognise significant times in your life when you may have chosen to be fearful. Learning through this process can be profound, and one can see the illusion that fear is. After all, it’s all in the mind. Coaches/consultants can also help clear anxiety, phobias and more to help clients become masters of their emotional state rather than being controlled by their emotions. Letting go of fear is not about never feeling fear ever again. Fear, and any emotion, is an important form of communication between your mind and body. Letting go will allow you to make better choices - so that you can stand by a cliff or tall building and feel comfortable, and yet stay safely on the ledge.
by Annette Lynch
About the author: Annette Lynch (formerly Huygens-Tholen) is a Success coach, NLP Practitioner, Author and Speaker/Educator
helping individuals to change their lives through strengthening Personal Leadership. Achieving a dream to be an
Olympian in 2000, Annette then learnt to overcome her greatest challenge - life after sport. By studying and
applying the mindset skills and attitudes of sport into the game of life, Annette has transformed not only her
life, but thousands of others in UK, USA, Aus and NZ through coaching and training. PERMISSION TO REPRINT: You are welcome to use this article online as long as it remains complete and unaltered,including the "about the author" info. Please send a copy of your reprint to info@annetteffect.com.au
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